Five Questions
by Epiwsedis
Summary: Some of the Autobots decide to let Wheeljack know what they think about the Dinobots.


_Another Wheeljack/Dinobots story, as I was encouraged by the response to The Toymaker's Lament. As ever, Hasbro and Takara own all Transformers, and as ever, any and all reviews/feedback appreciated._

"Ha! Here he comes now. The Autobot's greatest scientific mind reduced to babysitting a buncha freakish morons! Hey Wheeljack, come sit down, take a load off!"

If he heard the exuberant taunts of Cliffjumper, Wheeljack gave no indication. He walked over to the energon dispenser and paused for a moment. Exhaustion and irritability warred within his aching joints. The last thing he needed now was to be subject to Cliffjumper's extremely blunt forms of ridicule. He picked up a vial from the stack and filled it with energon.

"Ah, come on Wheeljack," Bumblebee said "Cliffjumper's just fooling around, come sit with us!"

The Autobots around Cliffjumper shuffled up the long bench in the Recharge Suite, making room for Wheeljack. He slowly walked over and perched on the end of the bench. The room was pretty busy. The mini-bots were all present, and Tracks, Mirage and Hound sat in the far corner. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were at the adjacent bench, and Jazz and Prowl sat next to the door, Jazz enthusiastically explaining some latest human trend to Prowl, who feigned interest to the best of his abilities.

"So whatcha been up to?" enquired Bumblebee genially. The little yellow 'bot was always interested in Wheeljack's inventions and admired the Autobot engineer. For his part, Wheeljack considered the likeable yellow scout as one of the bravest 'bots he knew, and they had known each other a very long time.

"I've been working on some memory and mental agility exercises with the Dinobots, trying to show them there's more than brute force to their existence-"

"Ha!" Cliffjumper cackled with barely disguised glee. "Mental agility? The Dinobots? You gonna work on some diplomacy courses with Megatron after that? I'm pretty sure to do mental exercises you need to have a brain first, and you forgot to build brains into your five pet freaks!" The Dinobots were frequent targets for what passed as wit from the Autobot rank-and-file soldiers.

Wheeljack's circuits sizzled as he valiantly fought down the urge to fire an inhibitor shell into Cliffjumper's face. Instead he kept his voice level and civil.

"Leave them alone 'Jumper," he warned. "They've never done anything to you."

Huffer joined the debate.

"He's right 'Jack. They're just clumsy, stupid monsters. Sure they're tough, but they're little more than hideous upgrades to Shockwave's drones. You built them, you gave us some much needed muscle, but you don't need to keep justifying them to us. They're brutes, nothing more." Brawn, Gears and Windcharger vigorously nodded their agreement, while Bumblebee stared into his energon.

Cliffjumper smelled blood.

"Independent test," he began "Sunstreaker, answer five questions for me?"

The radiant yellow Lamborghini turned to face the table. "Make 'em quick."

"Question one." Cliffjumper was enjoying this. Wheeljack knew that the little red 'bot, whilst brave, resourceful and usually good company, often got a kick out of maliciously picking on other mechs. "_Small bot syndrome_" as Ratchet had named it. The Dinobots were often a target for some of his more unkind jibes, which he would not dare utter were Grimlock - or Slag in particular - within earshot. The other three were considered fair sport, and not just to Cliffjumper.

"Who is the stupidest 'bot on the Ark?" asked Cliffjumper.

"Sludge just edges out Sideswipe," replied Sunstreaker deadpan.

"Me Sideswipe not stupid!" retorted his twin, in mock offence. Wheeljack said nothing. In the harsh light of day, it was true. Sludge was stupid. It was Wheeljack's fault for designing the Dinobots that way, but poor Sludge, who was at heart a gentle, outgoing soul, found himself condemned as an idiot almost every time he opened his mouth. He often required clarification on even the simplest of orders, which Grimlock was able to give, but the other Autobots loved to snicker while he did so.

"Question two – who is the ugliest 'bot on the Ark?"

"Swoop. Easy. A face only an engineer could love."Again Wheeljack had no retort. Chip Chase had considered the pteranadon form the best bet to give the Autobots some aerial power, and Wheeljack had wanted the Dinobot to strike fear into the sparks of his enemies, but hadn't thought about the effect it would have on his comrades. The other Dinobots, themselves no oil paintings, accepted him warmly, but a lot of the Autobots shunned him. Another failure on my part Wheeljack thought bitterly to himself. Swoop was a junior Dinobot, created several weeks after the first three. He had slightly less bloodlust, and was probably the weakest of the five, as he needed manoeuvrability and not bulk for his role as air support.

"Question three – who on the Ark is most likely to join the Decepticons?"

"Slag. He may well already have done so in the time we've been talking."

Brawn and Gears cackled at Sunstreaker's tactless but truthful responses. Mirage, Tracks and Hound had walked over to listen to what had become a pretty loud exchange. Prowl and Jazz were still seated but watching intently. Shame, Wheeljack thought bitterly to himself, if Prowl wasn't here I could smash Cliffjumper's smug little face in. Slag was violent, unbelievably so at times, but wasn't that what he had been created for? How many times had Slag's propensity for warfare pulled the Autobots out of the fire?

"Question four – which Dinobot is too cowardly to say anything, even when called an idiot by a mini-bot?"

"Snarl. I think he's too stupid to know how to work his vocal processor."

The minibots laughed again, and even Prowl was smiling. Snarl was famously stoic, he just didn't seem to care about anything or anyone. Simple conversation appeared a chore for him. The other of the two 'junior' Dinobots, he also had slightly less capacity for insane violence in his processor, but this manifested itself as a sloth-like indifference. But Wheeljack knew that was just a mask. Snarl cared deeply about the other Dinobots, and had expressed gratitude and even mirth whilst in the company of Wheeljack and Ratchet during their Dinobot training sessions.

"Finally, for the grand prize of proving to Wheeljack that he's wasting his time – name the one mech on the Ark who actually tried to kill Optimus Prime, and likely will again at some point?"

"Grimlock." There was no laughter, only silence from all concerned. Wheeljack knew that for a lot of Autobots, the Dinobots could never be forgiven for trying to usurp the beloved leader of the Autobots. Never mind that it had only been the initial three, and that Megatron had clearly manipulated them, they were _persona non grata_ to most of the Autobots. Snarl and Swoop had done more than any other Autobot to rescue Prime, fighting the other three to a brutal standstill, but were considered guilty by association.

"So to sum up," Cliffjumper said loudly, revelling his audience "they're stupid, they're ugly, they're violent, they're dumb and they can't be trusted. The Dinobots are a waste of metal, and Wheeljack should spend less time on them, and more time in his lab on some actual worthwhile projects. That seem fair enough to all concerned?"

The other minibots nodded their vigorous assent, as did Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Prowl. Wheeljack's fists clenched and he felt his temper going. Suddenly a tentative voice cut in.

"I have five more questions." Everyone turned to face the speaker. It was Mirage. He wasn't the most social of Autobots, so everyone was a little surprised to hear him pipe up.

"Traitors stickin' up for traitors?" Cliffjumper sneered at the white and blue intelligence operative.

"I'm as entitled as anyone to say my piece. Hound, you're an honest 'bot, would you answer five questions for me?" Wheeljack looked on. He wasn't sure he could stomach another round of Dinobot-bashing, and if Mirage was gonna get cute too, things were bad.

"Question one – who is the most generous 'bot on the Ark?"

"Sludge. He'd do anything for anyone." Wheeljack was stunned. He knew Hound had spent some time, at Spike's bequest, playing football with the Dinobots, and was generally quite sociable with them, but Mirage had never spoken to the Dinobots. He seemed to regard them with distaste more than anything. Hound was right about Sludge. He was kind and generous to a fault, however all anyone else ever saw was his dim-witted clumsiness. Poor Sludge really wanted to be accepted deep down, but was painfully shy.

"Question two," Mirage continued "who is the most eager to learn new things on The Ark?"

"Swoop," Hound replied instantly "he learns quick too. He wants to learn about Earth, about Cybertron, about history about geography. He's even come with me a couple of times when I've been exploring. He's an inquisitor one all right!" Hound smiled to himself at some unbidden memory. Wheeljack smiled behind his faceplate. Swoop's eager nature was one of Wheeljack's favourite things, the terrifying-looking Dinobot had a child-like curiosity about almost everything, and Wheeljack was even sure he had seen that old softy Ratchet once grinning as Swoop questioned him on Transformer physiology.

"Question three. Of all the Autobots in The Ark, which one has put the most Decepticons on the injured list?"

"I dont know for sure, but given that Slag will fight to the bitter end against hopeless odds, he has to be right up there. Trashing Decepticons just comes naturally to him. He talks a lot about trashing Autobots, but I've never seen him do it." They weren't wrong, Wheeljack thought to himself. Slag was an almost unstoppable machine of wanton destruction and fearless action. His presence on the ground alone encouraged every sensible Decepticon within flamethrower range to suddenly prefer the sanctity of the air.

"Question four – who on this ship, without a shadow of a doubt, has never been heard to say anything derogatory about anyone, ever?"

"Snarl. Sure he doesn't talk much, but he's far from silent. Bright too, as I suspect Wheeljack knows. He doesn't have anything bad to say about anyone, despite plenty of bad things being said about him. His speech is pretty advanced too. He even knows a few football terms!" Snarl did indeed have better speech than the other Dinobots, with the possible exception of Swoop. He lacked Swoop's outgoing nature however, and would only learn or speak about the select few things that interested him, but he was loyal and brave, and never complained or picked on others. Snarl believed he existed to _protect_ smaller 'bots, not bully them needlessly.

The other Autobots were silent now. Mirage had pretty effectively made his point, and even Cliffjumper, though sullen, seemed unwilling to interrupt.

"Question five – With the exception of Optimus Prime, whose orders and actions have resulted in the saving of the most lives during our time on Earth. Autobot and human?"

"I'll take this one, if you don't mind Hound?" Jazz had come over to stand behind Wheeljack unnoticed, as had Prowl.

Hound nodded in acquiescence to Jazz, and the others, even an ashen-faced Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, looked up at Jazz, knowing the answer for themselves but waiting to hear it from an Autobot almost as respected as Optimus Prime amongst his peers.

"Grimlock and his Dino-dudes have saved all of our collective rears more times than I can count. They've saved countless human lives too. You know why? Because they learn from their mistakes. Grimlock tried to kill, Prime, but realised his mistake when he saw Prime's self-sacrifice to save _him_. We've all of us trusted him to save us when it suited us, but I betcha we've never ever said thank you. Just called him and his guys idiots and gone back to slaggin' 'em off."

Nobody spoke, as all seemed lost in thought.

"From what I heard," Jazz continued "you called 'em stupid, ugly, violent, dumb and traitorous. And then Hound called it right when he called 'em generous, eager to learn, effective in battle, noble-hearted and always looking out for others. They're striving every day to be better, thanks to 'Jack and Ratchet, and guys like Bumblebee and Hound. You lot still just see the early days. You oughta be ashamed of yourselves."

With that Jazz turned and stomped out of the Recharge Suite. Prowl gave a half-smile and followed him.

"Couldn't have put it better myself." Mirage returned to the far corner, Hound and Tracks accompanying him. Wheeljack stared after them for a moment, lost in thought. Suddenly he stood up and walked over to join the three quietly talking Autobot misfits.

"Not that I don't appreciate it, but why stick up for the Dinobots like that?"

Mirage smiled amiably at the engineer.

"I know what it is like to be distrusted here. The Dinobots have made mistakes, and could be a bit more housebroken, but I believe they're good mechs at heart, although I must admit they scare me a little. Besides, any chance to shut that little red twerp up should be taken."

Hound spoke up too.

"I just like them, having spent time with them. They're real characters. That said, I don't think they are aware of their own strength at times!"

Wheeljack's mood had improved a lot, and he was as proud of Hound and Mirage as he was of his own creations.

"Thanks for sticking up for them. It means a lot to me."

"Hey 'Jack!" Tracks responded. "You mean a lot to us, and so do your unique children. We'll keep an eye out for them, just like they do for us."

"Thanks Tracks. Anyway, I'm off to see the Dinos then go get Trailbreaker. He promised to talk to Grimlock about defensive strategies. Should be interesting. Or more likely very, very boring. See you later guys."

Wheeljack's joints still ached and he was tired, but he had a renewed spring in his step. If some of the other Autobots were beginning to see just what great Transformers the Dinobots could be, they might well end up fulfilling some of their enormous potential. He carried on towards the large room the Dinobots called home, the doors slid open and he walked in, almost colliding with Grimlock. The Dinobot commander was in boistrous mood.

"Why you-Wheeljack not watch where you going? Where you-Wheeljack been? Where him-Trailbreaker? When we Dinobots do strategy-stuff? Why you-Wheeljack not bring energon for us Dinobots?

Wheeljack started to laugh uncontrollably.

Swoop hopped down, looking at Wheeljack curiously.

"Why you-Wheeljack find him-Grimlock's five questions so funny?"

Wheeljack composed himself and looked around at the inquisitive faces of the Dinobots. Grimlock proud and demanding answers. Snarl pretending not to look, but but his head tilting towards the commotion. Swoop, curious and concerned. Sludge beaming blankly at him and Slag scowling but with a hint of a smile.

"No reason Swoop. They're the best five questions I have heard all day. Come on guys, lets go get some energon goodies, then get Trailbreaker."


End file.
